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By SUEP
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August 15, 2006 – A journey to Kusadasi, Turkey in Middle East


Crazy Naked Man

We meandered over to another seaside town called Kusadasi from Selcuk. Quite touristy but still quite quaint, we decided to stay here a couple of days before departing for Greece. Because Rick wanted to drink up before it got too expensive (heading towards Europe), and because I am enamored by the sea, we hopped on a drinking boat for a cruise around the Turkish Aegean Sea. Can't seem to get enough of the ocean. Another cool thing – my name coincidentally means 'water' in Turkish!



a harbor in Kusadasi


Our boat stopped in a bay near the town of Ozdere. It seems like the whole coast of Turkey is littered with ancient ruins. I spotted quite a few around the area. I also saw what looked like a staircase made of stone slabs, which led up to the top of a hill. I decided to check it out to see what’s at the top and beyond. So I jumped into the clear, beautiful blue waters. Rick didn’t want to go, so he stayed behind just to admire the scenery.



gorgeous aqua clear water with little gray fish swimming around sea grass


ancient ruins on the upper right part of the mountain overlooking a bay in Ozdere


view of the stone-slab staircase from the boat – there's a little hidden cove around the bend


So, I swam towards the staircase. Getting closer, I noticed a guy swimming nearby, whom I assumed was also from the same boat. Said a 'hello' and swam on by till I got out onto the little beach. After I reached the bottom of the steps, I turned around to check out my surroundings, and lo and behold, the guy walked out of the water completely butt-naked.

At this point, loud red sirens were going off in my head. I've unknowingly put myself in what could be a really, really bad situation. I could see the boat and Rick, but I'm not sure if Rick or anyone could see or notice me. As the naked guy was walking into what looked like a small, shallow cave, I quickly descended from the bottom of the steps onto the beach and into the water. Because I forgot my goggles (how is it when you need something the most, it's quite often forgotten), I treaded head above water, blasting towards the boat.

And of course, the guy followed, treading quickly behind me.

Then he shouted, "Do you want to fuck?"

In my head I was thinking, "WTF, is this really happening? Like, for reals??" Because I didn't think I heard him correctly the first time.

He shouted even more loudly as he treaded a bit more faster and closer to me, "Do YOU want to FUCK!?!"

I think my eyes were as wide as saucers. On the whole, I was in a physical state of absolute shock.

"NO! FUCK YOU! FUCK OFF you fuckin loser!!" I shouted back (excuse the profanity here). At this point, I was #1, thinking I must get the fuck away from Mr. Walking STDS cave-moron, #2, cursing all the slutty foreign women who showed the whole world that yes, sex is free and freely given anywhere and at any time of the day, and #3, cursing myself for getting into a situation like this – should've known better and have been more observant.

Panicking, I quickly swam till I was in closer view of the ship. He followed for a bit. But thank my lucky stars, he decided to stay back - treading into the cove and out of sight.

I swam closer to the boat and turned around to check and make sure he wasn't following. He sure wasn't. Instead he was standing on a rock, still butt-naked doing an obscene gesture. I flipped him the birdie and swam off to the boat.

It felt like forever just trying to get to the boat.

Seriously.

Back on the boat, I notified some passengers and the crew about a naked man wandering around in a cave in the hidden cove around the bend near the staircase. I didn't think the crew would take any action (service in Turkey has been intermittently pretty nonchalant even though local hospitality hasn't). To my surprise, they did. In a little rowboat, I went with the captain and a shipmate back to the cove. The captain whistled and shouted at the guy who finally put on some shorts. Unfortunately he ran off. When on shore, the captain went after him but couldn't catch up. He called the police though.

So that ended my trip through Turkey. I forever now have ingrained in my mind a memory of a crazy naked man and a potentially very bad situation. This is what happens if you're too curious and oblivious at the same time. I am thankful that it didn't get any uglier than that.

O well, besides that, Turkey prior was pretty darn cool.




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